25 Things about Boyhood

by Jason Tougaw

I watched Boyhood again during a very long plane ride, returning to the U.S. after some time in two very different countries: the United Arab Emirates and Sri Lanka. Sometimes I like to imitate the list style of Matias Viegener’s 2500 Random Things about Me Too. I love that book, and I enjoy imitating other writers. And long plane rides seem to inspire short bursts of writing.

1. Stories about mean stepfathers make me feel raw.

2. If you want to understand America, this movie is a good place to start (whether you’re American or not).

3. The soundtrack: Paul McCartney, Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan, Phoenix, Cat Power,  Gotye–and, yes, Britney. I could do without Coldplay’s “Yellow,” but it felt pretty true to the moment. I guess they probably couldn’t get the rights for Beatles songs.

4. Smart works of art with vernacular voices comfort me; they make feel like I have a place in the world.

5. I’ve never seen a Richard Linklater movie I didn’t like.

6. I still think the movie is about how hard it is to become a decent man in America, one who isn’t goaded into feeling like a failure under the pressure of American masculinity, one who doesn’t take that failure out on other people. This helps me think a little differently about the mean stepfathers in my own past. But as I mentioned in #1, it also just makes me feel raw. I guess feeling raw is important.

7. Like Before Sunrise,  this movie is also about the balancing acts of life: earning a living, chasing bliss, respecting others, pursuing and maintaining integrity, having fun, living with the unknown, figuring out when to forgive (and when not to).

8. Patricia Arquette is very appealing.

9. The movie is about girlhood and womanhood as much as boyhood. They’re all hard.

10. A lot of characters express casual homophobia. It’s clear we’re meant to see they are casually wrong. I don’t think any movie can do everything, so I’m not complaining, but there’s not much in the movie to counteract the casual homophobia.

11. College should be fun, and it should be fun on students’ terms—not packaged for them by a university. The fun is important to making the learning meaningful and lasting.

12. The editing between the various eras of the characters’ lives is elegant.

13. There seems to be a pattern to the editing: We get a scene that involves hard questions about the future, and then we cut to a reality where the characters have aged and their lives have changed, answering those questions (obliquely).

14. The movie is also about kindness, but kindness is complicated. Without mutual respect, it becomes condescending or controlling. Respectful kindness involves a negotiation.

15. Arquette’s charisma has a lot to do with the fact that she’s a little bit stout and a little bit fragile. Also, her speaking voice. Also, she reminds me of my beloved friend Kenna McRae.

16. I met only one American in Sri Lanka. He was about my mom’s age and lived in Encinitas, California—where I lived as a little kid. He talked like my uncle and was planning to stay in the Weligama for five months.

17. This movie is a melancholy transition after a short sojourn outside the U.S.—during which the country erupted into violence because of the very public injustice of the dismissal of Darren Wilson’s case and some outrageous announcements from powers that be, who seemed intent on provoking the violence.

18. The evolution of hairstyles for all the characters is entirely convincing. Did the same crew work on hair and makeup during every phase of shooting, over the course of twelve years?

19. The “mama for Obama” character is hilarious.

20. One guy in Sri Lanka told me Obama is black but great. I chose to believe the “but” was a language issue that meant something more like, “It’s a big deal that America has a black Preisdent.” I think I was right about that, but I’m not sure. Another guy told me that Obama is complicated because he seems to be a man of good character, but he oversees a military that invades other countries. This guy wonders if one day country as big as the U.S. might decide to invade Sri Lanka for some reason. Perhaps India.

21. American masculinity involves a set of ideas that govern everybody’s lives, starting pretty much from birth. I think Linklater’s saying we’d be better off without the pressures of these ideas, but you can’t simply change them at will. It’s up to people to live daily lives that create alternatives ways of being (and thinking). And feeling.

22. I’ve learned a lot about American masculinity from talking to Ken Nielsen. He’s eloquent on differences between American masculinity and the meanings of manliness various other cultures. I have a feeling Ken will write a book about this, and we can all learn from it.

23. Finally a portrait of a professor (Arquette) who is neither a HEROIC SAVIOR or a SCHEMING SOCIOPATH.The scenes with the gardener she inspires to go to college come close to casting Arquette as the savior professor, but they sill make me cry. (She does become the heroic single mother, even though she marries a bunch of assholes. Heroes aren’t so bad, though, and she’s a complicated one. Single motherhood is really hard in our world, obviously.)

24. I’m pretty sure I spotted a cameo from the guy who played the autistic kid in Waking Life, and I’m also pretty sure Mason’s college roommate was imitating Speed Levitch during the scene where they were tripping in the desert.

25. “It’s like it’s always right now, you know?”

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